I am becoming more and more clear on where I stand in the world and my beliefs are very much a combination of living and learning and trusting my instincts to always steer toward doing the right thing and doing no harm to any other. I am not one who believes that for the greater good that it's OK to harm another. Once I learn, I change and reflect and then I put those lessons to good use. To use Maya Angelou's quote, "Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.” I believe that if you know better and continue to not do better, then that is a choice.
Friday, 24 May 2013
Friday, 10 May 2013
I thought it would be appropriate to introduce a good friend of mine that has been with me for at least the last five years or so. It's not like we didn't know each other before then, but we recently became really close. He's the kind of friend that is with you at all of the major events in your life. He's pretty much replaced everything and everyone in my life because I seem to listen to everything that he says and believe it, even if he isn't always rational. I've been questioning my friend lately and his motives. He sometimes whispers things in my ear to make me doubt myself, and brings a certain negativity that makes me feel like maybe I don't want to be such good friends with him anymore. I've begun to see through him and really look at what he brings to my life. I ask myself, does he lift me up and make me feel good about myself or is he always reminding me of the bad things that have happened and could happen again. Well you probably know my friend, he's pretty popular and he knows lots of people, his name is Fear. See I knew you would recognize him. Every time I say his name or bring him up people act like they already know who he is, like he's good friends with them too. Since he's been in my life for so long, he's become almost a comfort to me in some ways. I use him as an excuse sometimes for things when I don't feel like doing them or when I don't think I can do them. It becomes very convenient to use him in that way but now I'm starting to see that maybe this relationship is not one that I want to continue on with. I have started doing things lately that have moved me farther away from Fear, and I have to say I haven't felt this good in years. I am taking small steps to move out of my comfort zone, which Fear always told me never to leave. I am beginning to push the silent voice of Fear aside when he says not to try new things or go to new places because the things that happened in my past would somehow happen there too. I don't believe in him so much and with every passing day, we grow further apart. I am seeing clearly that he just never was a part of my destiny and it was always my choice to end this relationship. If Fear has been your friend as well and has done any of these things to you, just know that he isn't welcome anymore and that your happiness is more important than this unhealthy relationship. We end up becoming victims of Fear's distorted reality and can never really embrace him without losing a big part of our lives to his selfish, one-sided motives. Any relationship where you end up losing the ability to be who you really are and to freely do whatever you want to, is one that will never benefit you in the end.