Friday, 26 July 2013

The Choice is Always Yours

We are all influenced by our circumstances that surround us and it is by thousands of choices that we've made that have brought us to where we are today, so to say that we are responsible for where we are in our own lives, is to take that power and use it to motivate our actions right now to bring the changes into our lives that we've been waiting and wanting to see. Joy is easily found each and every day but you have to be willing and open to see it, instead of creating excuses for why it doesn't exist in your life. This is the difference between joyful, happy people and miserable ones, it all comes down to what you allow and that you continuously keep choosing to find JOY in YOUR Journey.

Friday, 24 May 2013

Where do you stand?

I am becoming more and more clear on where I stand in the world and my beliefs are very much a combination of living and learning and trusting my instincts to always steer toward doing the right thing and doing no harm to any other. I am not one who believes that for the greater good that it's OK to harm another. Once I learn, I change and reflect and then I put those lessons to good use. To use Maya Angelou's quote, "Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.” I believe that if you know better and continue to not do better, then that is a choice.

Friday, 10 May 2013

Friend or Foe

I thought it would be appropriate to introduce a good friend of mine that has been with me for at least the last five years or so. It's not like we didn't know each other before then, but we recently became really close. He's the kind of friend that is with you at all of the major events in your life. He's pretty much replaced everything and everyone in my life because I seem to listen to everything that he says and believe it, even if he isn't always rational. I've been questioning my friend lately and his motives. He sometimes whispers things in my ear to make me doubt myself, and brings a certain negativity that makes me feel like maybe I don't want to be such good friends with him anymore. I've begun to see through him and really look at what he brings to my life. I ask myself, does he lift me up and make me feel good about myself or is he always reminding me of the bad things that have happened and could happen again. Well you probably know my friend, he's pretty popular and he knows lots of people, his name is Fear. See I knew you would recognize him. Every time I say his name or bring him up people act like they already know who he is, like he's good friends with them too. Since he's been in my life for so long, he's become almost a comfort to me in some ways. I use him as an excuse sometimes for things when I don't feel like doing them or when I don't think I can do them. It becomes very convenient to use him in that way but now I'm starting to see that maybe this relationship is not one that I want to continue on with. I have started doing things lately that have moved me farther away from Fear, and I have to say I haven't felt this good in years. I am taking small steps to move out of my comfort zone, which Fear always told me never to leave. I am beginning to push the silent voice of Fear aside when he says not to try new things or go to new places because the things that happened in my past would somehow happen there too. I don't believe in him so much and with every passing day, we grow further apart. I am seeing clearly that he just never was a part of my destiny and it was always my choice to end this relationship. If Fear has been your friend as well and has done any of these things to you, just know that he isn't welcome anymore and that your happiness is more important than this unhealthy relationship. We end up becoming victims of Fear's distorted reality and can never really embrace him without losing a big part of our lives to his selfish, one-sided motives. Any relationship where you end up losing the ability to be who you really are and to freely do whatever you want to, is one that will never benefit you in the end.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Sweet Surrender

I was playing with some ideas of how to live a more freeing life, one that easily lets go of grudges and resentments and makes lots of room for fun and happy times. It is much easier said than done though and even when we know the consequences of toxic emotions, we cling to them day after day. We think that if we say it enough and remove ourselves from every situation that we feel might be damaging, that we are solving this problem. The truth is that if you don't make peace with any hurtful situation and release it, you'll see the residue staining every future relationship that you get into. There comes a time when the opinions of others can no longer influence your actions, you need to know for yourself how you feel and why you think the way you do. While some opinions are helpful for perspective, it can hurt you to take on someone else's thinking because they have come to their own conclusions about life based on their very different experiences and we need to be aware of that. No two people will ever see the same way on every subject and nor should they expect to. It all boils down to digging deep and really confronting things that bother us and deciding when the right time is to get rid of people and situations that will never help us but only hold us back from true happiness. Freedom comes when you can find peace with where you are in life and with whom you've chosen to surround yourself with.

Thursday, 14 March 2013


     It's easy to believe that we always have our best interest at heart because why would we be doing anything to self-sabotage the one person who is closest to us. I think that the only way to know for sure if you are doing your absolute best to improve your life is to look at the choices you make for yourself everyday. There is no better determining factor to use than to see your everyday routine and the way you handle life's stresses and by seeing the results that show up in your life continuously.  The choices we allow are what make up daily life for us. Are we happy with the results? Maybe we are happy with the life we have but certain aspects are lacking because we just haven't put that one thing that really needed attention as a priority. It does have a spiral effect if you let too many of these priorities fall off the list and you'll find yourself not really honoring yourself and your family as much as you think you are. Healthy decisions are number one because anything that could potentially harm you by causing emotional or physical distress is not going to help anyone in the long run.  Sometimes it takes a nice long walk or conversation with a friend or loved one to decide if you are happy with the way things are or if you could be making life altering choices one day at a time. The great way to look at it is that there is never a wrong time to make the right changes to put you on track to living the best life possible!

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Value Yourself Enough

An interesting lesson that seems to be present in almost everyone's life is that of learning when to let go of certain relationships when we come to the hard realization that they no longer have a benefit in our lives. As creatures of comfort and habit, even bad habit, we find ourselves in friendships or other types of relationships in which we feel like the end result is more work than anything else and the gain is so small that it doesn't add anything positive to our lives but in fact cause lots of negative stress instead. I don't think that every relationship is always supposed to be or is ever going to be all fun and games, it's a balance of give and get and the rewards should be seen and felt within that relationship in order for it to maintain a healthy role in your life. We know the odd family member or friend who never really feels comfortable engaging in gatherings or the overzealous friend who never has a bad day, and we wonder silently to ourselves what planet they came from. These relationships are found in every person's life and we learn how to put them into unique categories, some in the category of will see once in awhile and others in the category of will see more often. These are not huge drains on us emotionally and actually add some fun and an element of change to our lives and we usually embrace them for what they are. The type of relationships I am talking about totally getting rid of are the ones that make you doubt your self-esteem, use up all of your energy so that you feel exhausted mentally, and leave you feeling depressed or guilty every single time you are engaged in the relationship. There comes a time when you must choose your well being, time and energy and overall happiness over any relationship that continuously challenges that. Only you know what you are willing to accept before getting to that point but once you learn to value yourself enough, the answers become very clear and walking away from these relationships feels like a weight has been lifted from you and you are ultimately making room for much more healthy ones to come into your life.