Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Flowing with Change

I have always struggled with change in my life because I was the person who always needed the security in knowing the What, Where, When and Why of everything before I could relax and feel at ease with any situation. This type of thinking can really wear down even the most tolerant of friends and family not to mention yourself. It feeds a selfish tendency to always need or expect that the outcome will be something that I could just plan for so that I could be ready and not get caught off guard. The thought of taking situations as they came or letting things unfold naturally was a foreign concept for me, of course I didn't realize it at the time, which is so often the case when finding out just what our biggest hang ups are and coming to terms with destructive behaviors that we have unknowingly encouraged for so long. I am one of those who could never easily see my behavior unless I was given examples of how I acted in certain situations and then eventually you have an A-HA moment. When it clicks, you really finally see that You have been the sole driving force in putting up your own roadblocks and it wasn't anyone else's fault but your own. The deep seeded root cause most of the time comes down to not being able to surrender control. If we looked a little closer we'd be able to see that thinking we have control, is an illusion in itself and we just keep perpetuating that illusion because it gives us comfort, even if it's a false sense of security. I could have cared less to know this information at the time because I was better off with a false sense of comfort, no matter how ridiculous it became, than having the unknown lead the way. The more I grow spiritually the more I see that the unknown can be freedom in so many ways and ultimately a way of living without anxiety and having to control everything around me. It feels like so many burdens and barriers have just been dropped from my mind and shoulders too, if I just let things play out the way they should. It took the eye opening lesson of having to deal with my darkest fears as they presented themselves and kept asking myself, what is the worst case scenario. Once I accepted what that was, next I began to see that just because this worst case scenario could happen doesn't mean it will happen. I then evaluated the odds and each time I did this , the odds just never were convincing enough to make me believe that the outcome was going to be negative. So when you do this time and time again and you start to replace the negative scenarios instead with the best case scenarios, you choose the one that makes you feel happy and relaxed over the one that takes you to that dark place of anxiety and worry. It does have to be a decision that you make time and time again and it is one that took me many years to train myself to do but make no mistake, it can be done if you are willing to do the work. Just like anything else that you want to become good at, you need to practice and put yourself into environments in which you can put that practice to use or you won't know if you are getting better or not. Once again moving out of your comfort zone no matter how scary it feels, will be the key to learning how to just let yourself and everyone around you "just Be."